Setting Ourselves up for Failure
We set ourselves up for failure every single day, but the problem is we don’t even recognise what we are doing. We live our lives on auto-pilot most of the time and we make decisions based on our opinions and beliefs, that have been built up over a lifetime of experiences, and when we do fail we look for someone or something to blame. Have you ever stopped to think about why you act and react the way you do, and how you set yourself up for failure on a constant basis?
It’s so easy to set ourselves up for failure. Expectations of who or what we should be, portrayed by the media, Hollywood, and advertising, bombard our sensibilities on a daily basis… and none of us are immune. The plethora of goal setting and self-help books in the market place are testament to just that. They continually portray successful people and how they started from nothing and achieved greatness. There is nothing wrong with striving and achieving, however our consumerist society continues to portray success as monetary wealth, materialistic gain, a perfect body, a supermodel wife, a successful musician... etc.
So where does that leave the plumber, the electrician, the accountant, the labourer, the project manager... it would seem from the media that these guys have underachieved. Now it’s very simple to say that this is not true, and that materialism is not the measure of a person….but deep down we still fell less.
Setting yourself up for failure comes in different forms, including –
- Setting unrealistic goals such as I want to be an astronomer, when I failed high school maths, or wanting to be the next Arnold Swarzenegger when you are 5 foot 2 inches and have a slow metabolism. You are unique and there are things you can and can’t do...accept this
- Setting non-specific goals such as I want to be wealthy, or I want to travel, or I want to be happy. These goals mean nothing. How much is wealthy? Where do I want to Travel? What means Happy to me? These goals have no destination and as such will get lost at sea.
- Failing to take action. Setting achievable goals but through a lack of motivation you do not take the required actions. This generally means your goals are not aligned with your values.
- Being trapped by the outcome. This means your happiness rests solely on achieving the outcome of the goal, and when that goal is not achieved exactly as you envisioned you are disappointed.
So how do you avoid setting yourself up for failure?
- Firstly understand your values. You don’t want a Lamborghini, you want the feeling you get from a Lamborghini. Identify that feeling.
- Set achievable goals and take consistent action
- Most importantly enjoy the ride. Achieving the goal is not what counts, having made the effort is all that matters.
Live a Life Worth Living
John Rosel