Who we choose to surround ourselves with on a day to day basis influences who we are. But we can’t always choose who sneaks into our circle of influence….

You’ll hear often that our attitude is influenced by who we choose to surround ourselves with, and that we should just remove toxic people from our lives. Easy….job done.

But what about your boss, who happens to be a complete tool? The only way to remove him from your life is to quit the job……and then probably take up working for another tool. So what’s the point?

Your Circle of Influence is about your attitude, not the physical presence of people or situations. Yes you remove people and situations from your life that you are able to, but there are so many situations or people you have to deal with daily, so all you can change is your attitude to those people or situations. Now you can’t just decide I am not going to worry about what this person says any more……it doesn’t work when you focus on the other person or situation. You can’t control them, you can only control yourself. It is not easy, if it was it would all be beer and skittles and everyone would be happy. You have to work at accepting that the other person or situation is what it is, stop worrying about changing them because you can’t. You have to work on 2 things-

1. Your own automatic thoughts and reactions. Be aware of how you feel and think, and practice acceptance of what is. It’s amazing the impact that saying F*ck It, and relinquishing control of that person or situation, can have on your attitude.

2. Have a plan to work towards to eventually free yourself from that person or situation over the longer term.

The Circle of Influence