Victim Mentality.....Why?
Modern society has become so fixated on people’s rights and so little on their responsibilities, that the growth of the victim mentality has become an enormous mental health issue.
We have all been a victim of other people’s action, or circumstances beyond our control at some time over our lifetimes. Some of those injustices are far worse than others…..BUT….being a Victim is something that happens to us, it is not something we are.
The issue of bullying is creating a generation of victims in today’s society, especially amongst our kids, but I don’t believe we are on the right path with how we treat it.
The current treatment revolves around having the bully acknowledge his actions and to try and put themselves in the victim’s shoes and as such feel remorse. The victim on the other hand is acknowledged and is comforted and told they are the victim of an injustice.
I’m not saying these approaches are wrong, they are not. The problem is we rely solely on those factors and completely ignore the issue of personal responsibility and resilience.
What do I mean by that?
There are two ends of the spectrum here, one is the bully, and one is the victim. The aim is to close the gap between the two. Now what our current approach does is to try and have the bully think about their actions, which is fine, but where is the stick? Where is the insistence on accepting their responsibilities to not be an arsehole? Where are the consequences for their actions? This is no more evident in society today than in my home town Townsville where youth crime is absolutely out of control.
But we then turn to the victim and see that they are currently told they are right, yes they are a victim, and we are very sorry for them. We wrap our collective arm around them and tell them it will all be ok. Again, I have no issue with this, but what happened to building resilience? Life is not fair and never will be. Acceptance that bad things sometimes happen to good people. What about the victim’s responsibility to take ownership of their own emotions and how they react and grow from bad situations?
We need a two pronged approach being Rights & Responsibilities, not just Rights, if we are to truly reduce this mental health crisis that is swamping our society.